Good evening to you all :)
Over the past year I have been listening to the moans, whines, gripes and general complaints from people who claim they have nothing. No money. No life. No vacation. Can't buy the latest clothes....
I'm here to tell you about my new blog - and to ask those of you to stop your whinging and get your act together. There are people worse off than you are. And I'm not going to use the "look at the people who are starving in some foreign country" spiel either.
I'm going to use myself as the best example there is. If I can do it, (and I firmly believe this) then anybody can do it!
My Story - in a nutshell...
For the past year we have been blessed to live in rent-geared-to-income housing - which is a good thing, at least for us. Ontario Works, in all their wisdom, decided that since I, a single mother of 3 children, was receiving regular child support payments in excess of $668/month, that I was no longer entitled to Ontario Works support - and please pay back the money we gave you in January.
Yes, you read that correctly. In excess of $668/month. When my child support payment of $733 for February finally arrived, (late and not the amount owing), the reality sunk in. And no, the federal government in their wisdom wasn't paying child benefit either... That's all we had. $733 for February.
So, how does a single person live on less than $800/month - let alone with three children to feed and provide nappies for two of them per month?
The answer is simple: Each day, for 365 days, I am going to post how I did it. Hopefully, I will be able to help someone else make their budget stretch enough that they can survive better to. These will be simple little tips that you never thought of... or you have, but never used.
If I can do it, you can too.
Adxx
Monday, November 7, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Parental Help
PTSD Struggles
There are days - like today - where I just want to scream my head off in frustration at my inadequacies as a parent. Then I have to remind myself that that is probably a gross exaggeration of what my true parenting capabilities are.
So along came positive re-inforcement in the form of Children's Mental Health through our Intensive Services Worker. "You're doing a wonderful job! Look at the change in your children! I can not believe how happy, smiling and playful your children are now! If you'll just sign-off here, my work is done... but don't be a stranger. Please call me regularly and update when you can! I know you are a busy Mom." (We went back to our first worker we had a year ago. IS workers work with you on specific parenting issues - up to three - over a maximum of a 12 week period - we were done in 6 :))
Then I got to thinking... if I had known what I know now, would I have been a different or better parent?
Absolutely is the answer.
So why don't the teach us how to be good parents? Not everyone has great role models (Obviously! Yes, I heard you laughing!) for parenting. So why don't they teach us as we go?
I've had to do research on my own - and that may not seem a very difficult thing to do, but how many books (or articles for that matter) are published about children at 4 years of age being diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)? And how you, as a parent, need to learn how to cope with it? And help your child cope and get through this?
If there is one out there, someone guide me to it. If not, and there is a publisher out there who is interested, I'll help you write one.
Tai Chi
So while I am in a sort of gripe mode, I would like to point out that many people have the misconception that Tai Chi is for "old people" and "so easy". Come have a class sometime with my instructor and you will soon change your mind. :)
I hope that those of you who are thinking of trying it do so. I have found Tai Chi Chaun to be calming, relaxing, invigorating and mentally challenging, not to mention the physical benefits of this wonderful martial art form. I thoroughly enjoy it and recommend it to anyone who is looking for was to de-stress and calm your mind, body and spirit.
Handbell Ringing
Well, I don't think this will probably be happening for me ever again - unless by some miracle someone buys me my own set of handbells ;) Our local church was looking for ringers... and I wasn't called up.. not like that is a surprise or anything. After all, who will watch the three boys while I ring? lol! They did try last year but my children were too difficult for two teenagers to watch... but I miss ringing very much.
Actually, I miss making music of any form - ringing, singing, playing piano.... *sigh* Maybe one day...
So I close with wishing you all a wonderful evening. Good night!
Adxx
There are days - like today - where I just want to scream my head off in frustration at my inadequacies as a parent. Then I have to remind myself that that is probably a gross exaggeration of what my true parenting capabilities are.
So along came positive re-inforcement in the form of Children's Mental Health through our Intensive Services Worker. "You're doing a wonderful job! Look at the change in your children! I can not believe how happy, smiling and playful your children are now! If you'll just sign-off here, my work is done... but don't be a stranger. Please call me regularly and update when you can! I know you are a busy Mom." (We went back to our first worker we had a year ago. IS workers work with you on specific parenting issues - up to three - over a maximum of a 12 week period - we were done in 6 :))
Then I got to thinking... if I had known what I know now, would I have been a different or better parent?
Absolutely is the answer.
So why don't the teach us how to be good parents? Not everyone has great role models (Obviously! Yes, I heard you laughing!) for parenting. So why don't they teach us as we go?
I've had to do research on my own - and that may not seem a very difficult thing to do, but how many books (or articles for that matter) are published about children at 4 years of age being diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)? And how you, as a parent, need to learn how to cope with it? And help your child cope and get through this?
If there is one out there, someone guide me to it. If not, and there is a publisher out there who is interested, I'll help you write one.
Tai Chi
So while I am in a sort of gripe mode, I would like to point out that many people have the misconception that Tai Chi is for "old people" and "so easy". Come have a class sometime with my instructor and you will soon change your mind. :)
I hope that those of you who are thinking of trying it do so. I have found Tai Chi Chaun to be calming, relaxing, invigorating and mentally challenging, not to mention the physical benefits of this wonderful martial art form. I thoroughly enjoy it and recommend it to anyone who is looking for was to de-stress and calm your mind, body and spirit.
Handbell Ringing
Well, I don't think this will probably be happening for me ever again - unless by some miracle someone buys me my own set of handbells ;) Our local church was looking for ringers... and I wasn't called up.. not like that is a surprise or anything. After all, who will watch the three boys while I ring? lol! They did try last year but my children were too difficult for two teenagers to watch... but I miss ringing very much.
Actually, I miss making music of any form - ringing, singing, playing piano.... *sigh* Maybe one day...
So I close with wishing you all a wonderful evening. Good night!
Adxx
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Chugging Along...
Winter seems poised to make it's inevitable move... the nights are drawing in and the trees are looking decidely bare.
We put our garden to sleep for the winter and nibbled our last bit of salad and shared some swiss chard with a complete stranger. I mean, why not have someone take it when we have so much?
I think that is the problem with most of our society. Seems like everyone is out to make a buck at the expense of the other person. Instead of just taking all the time, why not give something back? Doesn't have to be much - but a thank you to the teenager holding the door open for you or a "good morning to you to!" when a toddler says hello to you would not go amiss.
Many blessings have happened this week, but most exciting of all is my eldest lack of four front teeth in a matter of days... It is amazing how quickly my resilient chilldren are growing up! I can still remember the day he was born! *sigh*
I have much to be thankful for. Blessings and many thanks to all of you who have helped us through the transition of being a family in pain to being a cohesive unit of love. We could not have done it without you. You all know who you are - major hugs and thanks.
Enjoy your fall days and cool nights.
Adxx
We put our garden to sleep for the winter and nibbled our last bit of salad and shared some swiss chard with a complete stranger. I mean, why not have someone take it when we have so much?
I think that is the problem with most of our society. Seems like everyone is out to make a buck at the expense of the other person. Instead of just taking all the time, why not give something back? Doesn't have to be much - but a thank you to the teenager holding the door open for you or a "good morning to you to!" when a toddler says hello to you would not go amiss.
Many blessings have happened this week, but most exciting of all is my eldest lack of four front teeth in a matter of days... It is amazing how quickly my resilient chilldren are growing up! I can still remember the day he was born! *sigh*
I have much to be thankful for. Blessings and many thanks to all of you who have helped us through the transition of being a family in pain to being a cohesive unit of love. We could not have done it without you. You all know who you are - major hugs and thanks.
Enjoy your fall days and cool nights.
Adxx
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is upon us... the trees are gorgeous colours of reds, oranges, yellows and browns.
We have been building large leaf piles in the front yard and jumping into them... and enjoying all the laughter that goes along with it. We may be having our last big water fights of the summer season... the backyard was ringing with laughter as we played with the water table which promptly tu.rned into a full scale water fight yesterday... if you were around you would have laughed... I know our neighbour Mel did... she stood there watching us with a big smile on her face. I like to spread laughter around... there never seems to be enough of it in our house!! lol!!
We will be having Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow and I for one have many things to be thankful for. It has been a year since we arrived in our house, and I love the way things are starting to shape up. My sons are happier than they have ever been, they are settling well into the community and are starting to grow into the amazing men they will be one day. I am settled into being a single mum and love spending time with my children. As with all families, we have our ups and downs, but at least the dishes get done, the house is clean once in a while and the laughter is outmatching the disagreements and for that I am thankful.
I'd liek to thank Muskoka Furniture for providing our Thanksgiving turkey today. We lined up and had a free turkey - and it will probably be great tomorrow once it is defrosted. What a great way to give to the community... stand in line for a bit, collect a ticket, and get a turkey if you are one of the first 100 people! :) My children will be enjoying tomorrow for certain!! :)
Bless all of you this thanksgiving holiday. I hope it will be happy for you... and that you don't groan too much from all the food!!
Happy Holidays,
Adxx
We have been building large leaf piles in the front yard and jumping into them... and enjoying all the laughter that goes along with it. We may be having our last big water fights of the summer season... the backyard was ringing with laughter as we played with the water table which promptly tu.rned into a full scale water fight yesterday... if you were around you would have laughed... I know our neighbour Mel did... she stood there watching us with a big smile on her face. I like to spread laughter around... there never seems to be enough of it in our house!! lol!!
We will be having Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow and I for one have many things to be thankful for. It has been a year since we arrived in our house, and I love the way things are starting to shape up. My sons are happier than they have ever been, they are settling well into the community and are starting to grow into the amazing men they will be one day. I am settled into being a single mum and love spending time with my children. As with all families, we have our ups and downs, but at least the dishes get done, the house is clean once in a while and the laughter is outmatching the disagreements and for that I am thankful.
I'd liek to thank Muskoka Furniture for providing our Thanksgiving turkey today. We lined up and had a free turkey - and it will probably be great tomorrow once it is defrosted. What a great way to give to the community... stand in line for a bit, collect a ticket, and get a turkey if you are one of the first 100 people! :) My children will be enjoying tomorrow for certain!! :)
Bless all of you this thanksgiving holiday. I hope it will be happy for you... and that you don't groan too much from all the food!!
Happy Holidays,
Adxx
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Update
Hello one and all!! :)
It has been a long time since I wrote, but then, I have been quite ill from this operation and I am still in some pain so I have been focusing on other things... read: getting easily distracted by copious amounts of sleep while the children are at school :))
Life has been, as ever, incredibly interesting. New school term, Beavers, Martial arts, Swim Lessons, and many more have all started up and I feel like some days their just isn't enough hours in the day! I'm sure there are many other mums who feel the same way.
I have started to become an advocate in a way. On my FB page I am trying to encourage people to do the right thing. It's not an easy thing to do either - and sometimes other people have their own agendas. I will give you an example. There is someone I know in our neighbourhood who is being abused. I called up someone whom I thought could provide appropriate advice and guidance for the individual concerned - instead, the person perpetuating the abuse is helped and not the victim. Even worse, the person who was supposed to be doing the helping told the perpetrator that I had reported them. Cheers for that. Since when did confidentiality NOT come into play?
Once again, the system is rewarding the perpetrator, rather than the victim.
So what has this taught me? Next time, I just call the authorities - and yes, that would mean my first ever call to Children's Aid Society and the Police.
So to end on this happy note, I have been told our gardens need to be cleared up by October 23rd. Such a shame really. But I am actually glad in a way. It means I can focus on my children for the winter months and put a plan in place.
Enjoy your Fall Day! I hope you have a wonderful one!
Adxx
It has been a long time since I wrote, but then, I have been quite ill from this operation and I am still in some pain so I have been focusing on other things... read: getting easily distracted by copious amounts of sleep while the children are at school :))
Life has been, as ever, incredibly interesting. New school term, Beavers, Martial arts, Swim Lessons, and many more have all started up and I feel like some days their just isn't enough hours in the day! I'm sure there are many other mums who feel the same way.
I have started to become an advocate in a way. On my FB page I am trying to encourage people to do the right thing. It's not an easy thing to do either - and sometimes other people have their own agendas. I will give you an example. There is someone I know in our neighbourhood who is being abused. I called up someone whom I thought could provide appropriate advice and guidance for the individual concerned - instead, the person perpetuating the abuse is helped and not the victim. Even worse, the person who was supposed to be doing the helping told the perpetrator that I had reported them. Cheers for that. Since when did confidentiality NOT come into play?
Once again, the system is rewarding the perpetrator, rather than the victim.
So what has this taught me? Next time, I just call the authorities - and yes, that would mean my first ever call to Children's Aid Society and the Police.
So to end on this happy note, I have been told our gardens need to be cleared up by October 23rd. Such a shame really. But I am actually glad in a way. It means I can focus on my children for the winter months and put a plan in place.
Enjoy your Fall Day! I hope you have a wonderful one!
Adxx
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Back to School Week
Around the House
Sorry not to have been blogging but there has been much going on. Survived my op on Friday last week and I am thinking it might have been a great success... will know for sure in a couple of weeks :) Starting to feel better though. Thanks for all the support to those who have given it.
Two boys are now off to school and I am so proud of them both! I wish you both much academic success this school year!!
In the Garden
We are off to the plot today to do some more poking and podding at the veggies and to start putting stuff down for the winter... I know, I know, horrible prospect that we are back to facing more snow but with frost warnings happening already in the north, it's time to admit we are fully now into the fall season and that means getting the harvest in.
It has been an incredibly bountiful year for us and I for one have been amazed at the amount of produce our tiny plot has given us. I am incredibly grateful to PROMPT for the opportunity provided and I bless you all :) We have had fresh veg for months now and the children have just loved being at the garden.
What we have grown this year: radishes (very successful!), green beans, mixed salad veg, scarlet runner beans, purple runner beans (Italian variety - love the taste and flower colouring!), tomatoes of all varities, squash (which failed miserably but hey, you can't have success everywhere! lol! Darned powdery mildew!), pickling cucumbers (which I actually love... they have canned wonderfully and I would do it again next year... although I might build a proper frame...), basil which I allowing to go to seed so I can grow more for pesto next year, and our most successful crop has been the swiss chard :) I'm quite proud of the fact that the same plants have been producing all season and are still going strong.
Thank you to all my amazing friends that I have made through the garden. Your stories and words of encouragement have been wonderful and I am grateful to you all. It's such a shame it is all coming to an end already.... Guess there is always Susan's classes to look forward to through the year :)
Issues with Access
Which then leads to the next bit which is not pleasant but some people seem to have it in their heads that they can continue to lie to people and make up stories so here it is:
Mr. Daniel Simon Pelling of Bletchingley, Surrey, UK - is not have contact with my children - ever. If you have questions as to why this is, please do ask. Send me an email and I will be quite happy to explain why Mr. Pelling is to have no contact ever.
Someone seems to think that this has changed. It has not - nor will it ever change. And if he has enough money to pay for all the wonderful trips and the like he has been enjoying, then he can pay his outstanding child support - in full - immediately.
Sorry to make this public, but I am tired of his lies.
Things to Look Forward To
This is the week that all sorts of programs start up - swimming, skating, Beavers, karate... I love it when Fall fully kicks in and life takes the next step forward.
I wish you all a very happy weekend and I hope that you are enjoying life to the fullest that you can.
Adxx
Sorry not to have been blogging but there has been much going on. Survived my op on Friday last week and I am thinking it might have been a great success... will know for sure in a couple of weeks :) Starting to feel better though. Thanks for all the support to those who have given it.
Two boys are now off to school and I am so proud of them both! I wish you both much academic success this school year!!
In the Garden
We are off to the plot today to do some more poking and podding at the veggies and to start putting stuff down for the winter... I know, I know, horrible prospect that we are back to facing more snow but with frost warnings happening already in the north, it's time to admit we are fully now into the fall season and that means getting the harvest in.
It has been an incredibly bountiful year for us and I for one have been amazed at the amount of produce our tiny plot has given us. I am incredibly grateful to PROMPT for the opportunity provided and I bless you all :) We have had fresh veg for months now and the children have just loved being at the garden.
What we have grown this year: radishes (very successful!), green beans, mixed salad veg, scarlet runner beans, purple runner beans (Italian variety - love the taste and flower colouring!), tomatoes of all varities, squash (which failed miserably but hey, you can't have success everywhere! lol! Darned powdery mildew!), pickling cucumbers (which I actually love... they have canned wonderfully and I would do it again next year... although I might build a proper frame...), basil which I allowing to go to seed so I can grow more for pesto next year, and our most successful crop has been the swiss chard :) I'm quite proud of the fact that the same plants have been producing all season and are still going strong.
Thank you to all my amazing friends that I have made through the garden. Your stories and words of encouragement have been wonderful and I am grateful to you all. It's such a shame it is all coming to an end already.... Guess there is always Susan's classes to look forward to through the year :)
Issues with Access
Which then leads to the next bit which is not pleasant but some people seem to have it in their heads that they can continue to lie to people and make up stories so here it is:
Mr. Daniel Simon Pelling of Bletchingley, Surrey, UK - is not have contact with my children - ever. If you have questions as to why this is, please do ask. Send me an email and I will be quite happy to explain why Mr. Pelling is to have no contact ever.
Someone seems to think that this has changed. It has not - nor will it ever change. And if he has enough money to pay for all the wonderful trips and the like he has been enjoying, then he can pay his outstanding child support - in full - immediately.
Sorry to make this public, but I am tired of his lies.
Things to Look Forward To
This is the week that all sorts of programs start up - swimming, skating, Beavers, karate... I love it when Fall fully kicks in and life takes the next step forward.
I wish you all a very happy weekend and I hope that you are enjoying life to the fullest that you can.
Adxx
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Smurfs
The Smurfs
As a special treat to celebrate the end of summer, we were taken out to see the movie "The Smurfs". I didn't get to watch very much of it since I seemed to always have one boy going to the toilet or wanting a drink.... typical stuff :) The boys did enjoy it very much.
Critique of the Movie
Overall though, I found it quite lacking. Not enough movement for boys to sit and watch through, the story line was incredibly poor and the acting left much to be desired.
The animation of The Smurfs was quite good.
It would have been an incredibly successful movie if they had taken a page out of the Harry Potter movies - stick to the story but don't be afraid to be creative. They could have done so much more with this movie and made it really interesting and yet still attractive to the little guys.
1/2 star out of five
As a special treat to celebrate the end of summer, we were taken out to see the movie "The Smurfs". I didn't get to watch very much of it since I seemed to always have one boy going to the toilet or wanting a drink.... typical stuff :) The boys did enjoy it very much.
Critique of the Movie
Overall though, I found it quite lacking. Not enough movement for boys to sit and watch through, the story line was incredibly poor and the acting left much to be desired.
The animation of The Smurfs was quite good.
It would have been an incredibly successful movie if they had taken a page out of the Harry Potter movies - stick to the story but don't be afraid to be creative. They could have done so much more with this movie and made it really interesting and yet still attractive to the little guys.
1/2 star out of five
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