Parental Help

PTSD Struggles

There are days - like today - where I just want to scream my head off in frustration at my inadequacies as a parent. Then I have to remind myself that that is probably a gross exaggeration of what my true parenting capabilities are.

So along came positive re-inforcement in the form of Children's Mental Health through our Intensive Services Worker. "You're doing a wonderful job! Look at the change in your children! I can not believe how happy, smiling and playful your children are now! If you'll just sign-off here, my work is done... but don't be a stranger. Please call me regularly and update when you can! I know you are a busy Mom." (We went back to our first worker we had a year ago. IS workers work with you on specific parenting issues - up to three - over a maximum of a 12 week period - we were done in 6 :))

Then I got to thinking... if I had known what I know now, would I have been a different or better parent?

Absolutely is the answer.

So why don't the teach us how to be good parents? Not everyone has great role models (Obviously! Yes, I heard you laughing!) for parenting. So why don't they teach us as we go?

I've had to do research on my own - and that may not seem a very difficult thing to do, but how many books (or articles for that matter) are published about children at 4 years of age being diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)? And how you, as a parent, need to learn how to cope with it? And help your child cope and get through this?

If there is one out there, someone guide me to it. If not, and there is a publisher out there who is interested, I'll help you write one.

Tai Chi

So while I am in a sort of gripe mode, I would like to point out that many people have the misconception that Tai Chi is for "old people" and "so easy". Come have a class sometime with my instructor and you will soon change your mind. :)

I hope that those of you who are thinking of trying it do so. I have found Tai Chi Chaun to be calming, relaxing, invigorating and mentally challenging, not to mention the physical benefits of this wonderful martial art form. I thoroughly enjoy it and recommend it to anyone who is looking for was to de-stress and calm your mind, body and spirit.

Handbell Ringing

Well, I don't think this will probably be happening for me ever again - unless by some miracle someone buys me my own set of handbells ;) Our local church was looking for ringers... and I wasn't called up.. not like that is a surprise or anything. After all, who will watch the three boys while I ring? lol! They did try last year but my children were too difficult for two teenagers to watch... but I miss ringing very much.

Actually, I miss making music of any form - ringing, singing, playing piano.... *sigh* Maybe one day...


So I close with wishing you all a wonderful evening. Good night!

Adxx

Chugging Along...

Winter seems poised to make it's inevitable move... the nights are drawing in and the trees are looking decidely bare.

We put our garden to sleep for the winter and nibbled our last bit of salad and shared some swiss chard with a complete stranger. I mean, why not have someone take it when we have so much?

I think that is the problem with most of our society. Seems like everyone is out to make a buck at the expense of the other person. Instead of just taking all the time, why not give something back? Doesn't have to be much - but a thank you to the teenager holding the door open for you or a "good morning to you to!" when a toddler says hello to you would not go amiss.

Many blessings have happened this week, but most exciting of all is my eldest lack of four front teeth in a matter of days... It is amazing how quickly my resilient chilldren are growing up! I can still remember the day he was born! *sigh*

I have much to be thankful for. Blessings and many thanks to all of you who have helped us through the transition of being a family in pain to being a cohesive unit of love. We could not have done it without you. You all know who you are - major hugs and thanks.

Enjoy your fall days and cool nights.

Adxx

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is upon us... the trees are gorgeous colours of reds, oranges, yellows and browns.

We have been building large leaf piles in the front yard and jumping into them... and enjoying all the laughter that goes along with it. We may be having our last big water fights of the summer season... the backyard was ringing with laughter as we played with the water table which promptly tu.rned into a full scale water fight yesterday... if you were around you would have laughed... I know our neighbour Mel did... she stood there watching us with a big smile on her face. I like to spread laughter around... there never seems to be enough of it in our house!! lol!!

We will be having Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow and I for one have many things to be thankful for. It has been a year since we arrived in our house, and I love the way things are starting to shape up. My sons are happier than they have ever been, they are settling well into the community and are starting to grow into the amazing men they will be one day. I am settled into being a single mum and love spending time with my children. As with all families, we have our ups and downs, but at least the dishes get done, the house is clean once in a while and the laughter is outmatching the disagreements and for that I am thankful.

I'd liek to thank Muskoka Furniture for providing our Thanksgiving turkey today. We lined up and had a free turkey - and it will probably be great tomorrow once it is defrosted. What a great way to give to the community... stand in line for a bit, collect a ticket, and get a turkey if you are one of the first 100 people! :) My children will be enjoying tomorrow for certain!! :)

Bless all of you this thanksgiving holiday. I hope it will be happy for you... and that you don't groan too much from all the food!!

Happy Holidays,

Adxx

Update

Hello one and all!! :)

It has been a long time since I wrote, but then, I have been quite ill from this operation and I am still in some pain so I have been focusing on other things... read: getting easily distracted by copious amounts of sleep while the children are at school :))

Life has been, as ever, incredibly interesting. New school term, Beavers, Martial arts, Swim Lessons, and many more have all started up and I feel like some days their just isn't enough hours in the day! I'm sure there are many other mums who feel the same way.

I have started to become an advocate in a way. On my FB page I am trying to encourage people to do the right thing. It's not an easy thing to do either - and sometimes other people have their own agendas. I will give you an example. There is someone I know in our neighbourhood who is being abused. I called up someone whom I thought could provide appropriate advice and guidance for the individual concerned - instead, the person perpetuating the abuse is helped and not the victim. Even worse, the person who was supposed to be doing the helping told the perpetrator that I had reported them. Cheers for that. Since when did confidentiality NOT come into play?

Once again, the system is rewarding the perpetrator, rather than the victim.

So what has this taught me? Next time, I just call the authorities - and yes, that would mean my first ever call to Children's Aid Society and the Police.

So to end on this happy note, I have been told our gardens need to be cleared up by October 23rd. Such a shame really. But I am actually glad in a way. It means I can focus on my children for the winter months and put a plan in place.

Enjoy your Fall Day! I hope you have a wonderful one!

Adxx